Monday:

Why don’t you go for a very long walk in a direction you’ve never walked before? Walking is one of my very favorite activities and I wish that I could do it in the Olympics. I would bring home all the gold medals. I’d also bring home Tom Daley. Walking is healthy and an excellent way to learn all about your neighborhood. My neighborhood is mainly cornfields, but I probably know them better than anybody else.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you challenge yourself to spend an entire day in bed? I’ve never done something so wild in all my life, but today I only moved to get food, drink, and to relieve myself. It was glorious, but awful.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you change all the lightbulbs in your house to ones that have a natural spectrum? Everything looks so much prettier when it’s not washed out in some hideous yellow glow.

Thursday:

Why don’t you look up all the state parks in your area and then visit them? I just drove past something called Glacier Pothole Park in Wisconsin and I’m very intrigued. No time to stop at the moment, but I need to go.

Friday:

Why don’t you create your own signature salad dressing, bottle it, and then sell it via a manic infomercial and roller-skates? Or, just watch a season of I Love Lucy and eat salad while doing so. Either way, eat some salad.