Monday:

Why don’t you pick a country, find out who their greatest singer of all time is, and then learn their classics? It’s great fun for me to sing along with beautiful Édith Piaf songs when I’m in Paris. Maybe you can learn the classics of Amália Rodrigues or Sinatra or somebody. Just sing.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you read all of the books ever written by Anne Rice? In my opinion she is the finest living American author and one of the greats of all time. You might not think this if you haven’t read her work, you might just think of her as a popular author. But, once you actually read one of her books, like the delicious Blackwood Farm, you will be drawn in by the delicate prose, the intricate storytelling, and the fabulous characters. Head off to the library at once, dear readers!

Wednesday:

Why don’t you start putting together a well-edited Christmas list on Amazon? (Here’s mine!) The wish list feature on Amazon is delightful and so easy to use. It’s like shopping without spending any money! Then, your family and friends can see your wishes, and you won’t have a stupid gift box from Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Thursday:

Why don’t you buy a new coffee machine? There are so many fun models to choose from these days. You can get those pod ones or you can get a high end espresso machine or you can get that one in a cone that slowly drips or you can get one of those stovetop brewers. They’re all delightful. Coffee is wonderful.

Friday:

Why don’t you go to a Halloween party next year in your most casual clothes and then when other guests ask you what you’re portraying, shout, “SOCIETY FORCES ME TO WEAR A MASK EACH DAY, DAMN IT! MY STEREOTYPICAL UNIFORM IS MY COSTUME!” Or, just go as a vampire. Either works.