Why Don’t You? #58


Why don’t you adopt an unlikely pet, like an opossum? I think it would be awfully fun having an opossum. Think of the reactions you’d get when you’d post selfies with your opossum. Or maybe an anteater like Salvador Dali? Even a parrot is a bit out of the ordinary. Have an entire menagerie. Or just get a cat. Animals are the best.

Why don’t you go to an ethnic grocery store near you and pick up some new ingredients to experiment with? I think I’ve already suggested this in the past. Probably more than once. Still, my point remains valid. Go shopping for fun things like prickly pears and passion fruit pulp and good vanilla and whatever you come across.

Why don’t you write and illustrate a children’s book? This has long been a goal of mine, but I have troubles with it. Every time I set out to write a charming little story about an elegant kitten who gets lost in Paris, it takes a turn for the worse, then all of a sudden my hero is being adopted by murderous fisherman and taking refuge in a Pigalle brothel. Not sure if there is a market for that. I mean, I’d read it. Still, I will try and try again.

Why don’t you spend a few hours this evening researching Hanukkah? I am fond of the holiday, even though my knowledge of the specifics on it are a bit shaky. I remember there was an episode of Lamb Chop that I saw years ago that taught me about the oil that burned and burned and burned. It’s nice to be aware and understanding of different religions. I think it is one of the most important things you can do. The second most important thing you can do is buy yourself a gift each night of Hanukkah. So far, I have bought myself donuts, an espresso machine, and horse shampoo. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? It’s a great holiday.

Why don’t you buy horse shampoo? I am serious, readers. I just ordered a bottle. Allegedly, it makes your hair grow extra fast and glisten like a mane. I need my long hair to be even longer, so I bought horse shampoo. I’m excited. MANEly (see what I did there?) to say that I wash my hair with horse shampoo. Such fun!

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