Monday:

Why don’t you stop shampooing your hair and rely on conditioner alone? I ran out of my Lush bar that I adore, but my hair has been looking like shit lately, and the term “co-wash” popped into my consciousness, so I decided to give it a go. So far, I’m a fan. My hair has so much more body and texture than it did when I was using shampoo. That process made it rather limp and stringy and hard to style. Now I have VOLUME. I’m thriving. Give it a try. 

Tuesday:

Why don’t you stop buying groceries for a month and force yourself to eat everything you already have? In an attempt to stop spending all of my money and control myself from gaining a thousand pounds, I’m trying to use up everything in my cupboards before I leave for two months in Mexico City. It’s going to be a gastronomic challenge, but I think I’ll survive. I only have to get through three weeks. I think I can. If not, oh well, I have no will power. 

Wednesday:

Why don’t you put Eurovision 2019 on your calendar so you don’t forget to watch next year? The blissful Saturday in May when the annual contest comes on is one of my favorite days of the year. It’s a gay high holy holiday, after all. This year was a TREAT and everybody looked a SNACK and I wanted to be there in Lisbon bopping with the others. One of these days, I’m going to Eurovision. It will be so fun! One of my bucket list trips. 

Thursday:

Why don’t you observe Ramadan, which just started this week? While the sun is up, you don’t eat or drink or smoke or really do anything pleasurable. For a month, this goes on until a lovely festival where you gorge yourself! The first time I went to Egypt, I went at the end of this holiday, and it was so charming. Felt a bit like Christmas. And it’s charming to break the fast with the Egyptians. And I need to go on a diet, so this seems like the perfect way to acknowledge my beloved Middle East and lose a few pounds. 

Friday:

Why don’t you veritably festoon your home with fresh lilac bouquets? There is absolutely nothing so elegant as having fresh flowers in your house. It’s one of my pro tips for living luxuriously on a budget. Whenever you can, use the blooms in your yard. My lilacs are exceptionally lush this year, and I have them in nearly every room. I’m going to put together a huge centerpiece today so that I feel like I’m in the London Ritz even though I’m just in the middle of nowhere.