Faux Tumblr: Installment 5

This should be my last of these posts. I hadn’t realized just how many pictures there were on my computer that I’ve saved needlessly! Still, there were many more that I adore and it’s good to finally sort them out. Cleaning is wonderful, even if it is only digital. I love cleaning. “I’m not mad at you–I’m mad at the dirt!”

I do this, too.

I know that sex sells, but this seems to go overboard.

I adore Robyn. She’s tragically underrated here in America, but in my household, she’s huge. I about saw her in Minneapolis when she was opening for Katy Perry, but Perry fell ill with food poisoning. I’ll never forgive her. I love her hair in this picture. I took it to the hairdresser and got the same style, but it wasn’t the same without the color.

This is from the most exciting day of my life. Ma and I flew to London to be there for the Royal Wedding. It was better than either of us expected. We were one of the first people to lead the procession to Buckingham Palace and we had incredible views of the royals.

Ru and Pandora on my other favorite reality show, Ru Paul’s Drag Race. live for that show.

Grand Central Station. So beautiful. I think architecture today is tragic.

EATMOR Dairy & Vegetarian Restaurant. Wish I could have tried it!

Saint George slaying the dragon.

I’m not a fan for SOOO many reasons.

Look at my mother’s shoes!

A dog in Spain that looks bizarrely like my late dog, Shadow.

Sid, my favorite puppet from The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson.

I adore shadow portraits. I’m doing one of all my cats very soon!

One of my all time favorite shows. Geeeeeeeez.

I adore her.

This is right after I lost 50 pounds. I never realized how fat I had been. I’ve lost around 60 since I started and have never looked more gorgeous. I’m very modest.

This is the kind of cake I’ll give my children.

I’ve always hoped this was real and not a hoax.

I’d go to church if it were like this.

Joan Crawford as an ax murderess in Strait-Jacket. Amazingly camp film. See it.

Sunset Boulevard finale. Another amazing movie.

Stunning Sweeney Todd illustration. Victorian macabre realness.

This picture made the swine flu epidemic totally worth it.

This is how I feel.

So cute!

Martha’s cat, Empress Tang, and I feel the same way about espresso. Excuse me while I make one or two or seven.

I’d be delighted if my valentine gave me such a hilarious card!

The real message of Thanksgiving.

Kitler is so amazing. If you haven’t heard of this phenomenon, school yourself.

Joan Crawford with her chandelier necklace in I Saw What You Did. Even campier than Strait-Jacket. Required watching.

I still dream of a President Hillary Clinton someday.

So true.

They are thin and gorgeous!

You can never have enough hats, gloves, and shoes.

So cute!


Parisian Métro Eleganza.


Not very nice.

I want a weave.

Very Mary Kate emailed me! Another great day in my life.

I cannot wait until we figure out what the Voynich Manuscripts actually are.

Napping in the cemetery. (Pink socks are the sexiest thing a man can own, aside from pink underwear.)

One of my artistic achievements that I’m actually proud of. I even impressed myself.]

WERK! Someday I’ll compete on this show.


I’m not a big fan of Van Gough, but I really like this one, White House at Night.

I want to print these and slap them on elevators everywhere.


I’m not sure which of my vacation homes will have this foyer. Probably the Plantation.


Honestly, I don’t know why Anna and I aren’t best friends by now. Like, really, why not?

Oh my god. Penny tiles made of actual pennies. This is actually cheaper than actual penny tiles. Doing this somewhere!

This is how I want the Maine house to look.

I don’t have the patience for something like this!

I hope there is a stencil for this somewhere.

The perfect pool.

LOOK AT THE CEILING. It’s too divine.

Another perfect pool.

This is going in my bakery someday.

Squeal! Get me this suit. I need to live in it!

My sexy leg in the lounge. I look naked…perhaps I was.

Finally, we’re done. I deleted 200 megabytes. That was almost pointless, but my picture folder is much better organized. Hope you enjoyed the images.
























































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