Reader, I have a new musical obsession, and it’s all the fault of Harry Styles. Fans went wild online when it was announced that MUNA was going to be the opening act for his tour. I didn’t because I didn’t have a clue who they were. People were enthused because they are a “queer” band. The people in the band don’t bother themselves with stereotypical sexual roles. I think that’s lovely. And that is so Harry. For some reason, I didn’t bother listening to their album before heading to Chicago. I couldn’t even recall their name when I was waiting in line with 3,000 women in floral tops, 400 men in floral tops, 199 confused chaperones — most of them in floral, and me in a “Future Mr. Styles” t-shirt. Delightfully, the group appeared right on time, and I wasn’t paying much attention. Couldn’t understand any of the words, you know, so I don’t know how to focus. Being the opener on a tour, I’ve often thought, is probably the worst job in the world. There you are in front of thousands of disinterested people scrolling through their phones. It’s tragic. I was the same way, but then I got in the groove. Something in my mind clicked and I became the biggest fan in the world of these people and their music. It was as if Robyn and the lead singer of The Cranberries had a child, and that child was the lead vocalist. I’m obsessed with her. They played some solid bops, reader. I immediately downloaded their album and have been listening basically non-stop ever since. “I Know A Place” is simply the most delightful and joyful tune.
I have been singing it nonstop. All of the songs are good, and they are infectious, they literally make their way into your brain and you can’t stop. I’m currently going delightfully insane because my favorite will not get out of my head, “If U Love Me Now.” The vocal quality of the lead singer is intoxicating. She sings in a way that very few do, and I love it. Get this album immediately, reader. You will not regret it.
I have a confession that I don’t feel at all guilty for making: I love McDonald’s. Never thought I’d say that, but I am delighted by that fast food chain. As a vegetarian, I can order a side salad there, and that’s it!. I still get the fries even though I read that they have beef fat in the hot oil they use to prepare the delicious slivers of potato. I eat them as often as I can, and each time, no matter how good or bad the fries are, I love them. They are the most satisfying food. And the salads aren’t half bad. And the coffee, reader, is honestly extraordinary. I would absolutely rather have a cup of coffee from McDonald’s than any other coffee shops Starbucks tastes burned, I find, but McDonald’s is always gloriously good. And cheap. And I love cheap. Plus have you ever been to a McDonald’s in France? That place is the definition of lit. The food is great — but I don’t eat it — I go to their bakeries. You read that right. McCafé is utterly fabulous in Paris. The one in the underground shopping center at the Louvre is divine. They have some of the best macarons in the city, and in fact, I would more than happily get their pastries than Ladurée. That shop is overrated junk. McCafé is the real deal. They make delicious lemon tarts and I need to make mention of just how good the apricot macarons are, and they have these little chocolate bites that are ecstasy. And their espresso is perfect. I’m always annoyed that we don’t have this kind of consumable opportunity back home, so I was delighted to find that there is a new gourmet coffee menu. Americanos are listed, and since that is nothing more than an espresso with extra water, I couldn’t wait to try it. It was great. It was some of the best coffee I have had that I didn’t make myself. I’ve had like four now in the past few days. When my college class went to break last night, I floored it over to McDonald’s and got another one. I even went through the drive in for the first time. It was decadent laziness, and that coffee was such a win. I’ll be getting these all the time!
“What Happened” by Hillary Clinton:
You all know that I love Hillary and always will. I’m unapologetic about this. I don’t have time for people saying she was a flawed candidate, that she was corrupt, that she was fake, that she was any one of their absurd claims. All politicians have critics, but there is no reason that she had be flawless to be president. And look what happened because of the stupidity of millions of people. Those who say that both Hillary and her opponent were equally bad are perplexing to me. I struggle to understand and empathize with their viewpoints. And I think they’re fools. They might not like Clinton, but when you have a choice to choose between somebody who knows what they’re doing and has the cool resolve to lead in a troubled world compared and a hotheaded businessman who singlehandedly keeps the self tanning industry alive, I’m flabbergasted that anybody would struggle making a decision. And when you could literally choose between anybody and somebody who proudly discussed grabbing women by the pussy…how could you make a wrong choice? But enough of my grievances, this is about Hillary’s book. I had it for several days before I could bring myself to crack the binding. I have gotten over the majority of my grieving, I know there is no going back and what is done is done, but still, I have to struggle through three more years of an inept and corrupt government. It’s just such a foolish loss for the nation and world. So, I finally started reading and it was cathartic. It’s so good to hear Hillary rationally talk about her career and all the things that she suffered at the hands of the media. The fact that Hillary Clinton is not in the Oval Office this afternoon is surely the greatest tragedy of our times. I don’t mean that terrorism is not a worse tragedy, I simply mean that we have lost such a great opportunity. I am so sad. But the book is so good.
I am not about to start a political debate. If it were up to me, guns would all be melted down and formed into statues of men that I think are particularly handsome. The metal would be much better used in the creation of Harry Styles statues to put in public squares around the nation. I have shot a gun, reader. I have done it any number of times, but it does not thrill me. It’s repugnant to me. And just because I find them distasteful, I am never going to argue for their removal. I guess that’s not true. Let me clarify: THERE IS NO REASON TO OWN AN ASSAULT RIFLE. Sure, take a pistol to the shooting range or go fox hunting with a rifle. I’m opposed to it on principle. As a gay vegetarian, nothing could interest me less than shooting animals and eating them, but I am never going to impose my way of life on others. You do you. Go shoot deer and pheasants and whatever thrills you (within reason). But I think we can all agree that an assault rifle (whether fully automatic or semi automatic or modified to behave like such a weapon) is not going to be your best bet when out hunting turkey. Right? So let’s come to the middle, readers, it’s the best we can hope for right now. We need stricter gun laws. I have not done enough research into the matter, but here’s my simple suggestion. Rifles and pistols. Sure. Whatevs. A limited number of firearms and rounds per owner, please. And all owners must have a background check and some kind of safety training. It’s in the best interest of everybody. I’m not trying to be scandalous, BUT DO WE REALLY NEED MORE INCIDENTS LIKE THAT IN LAS VEGAS? We don’t. This is just another blight on humanity and our nation. I’m so ashamed. And I’m so disappointed. And I’m so sad. And quite frankly, I’m disgusted. These things keep happening with alarming regularity. We can’t keep offering up thoughts and prayers. We need to actually do something. This is a bigger issue than I’ll ever be able to understand. I just want some peace. I’m so tired. (Also, reader, this did absolutely nothing to reassure me that I am not cursed. Tragedy follows my wake. I saw my first One Direction concert at Mandalay Bay…)
I have always been a tired person. I assumed it was the fact that I go to bed late, and this probably does have a significant impact on my energy level, but the exhaustion is deeper than lack of sleep can cause. When I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, Vitamins B and D were recommended to me, and for whatever reason, they made me feel much better. Vitamin B is supposedly energizing, and I no longer needed a nap every afternoon. This was odd, since I have needed naps for about two years. I’ve been doing fine, too, ever since then, but about a week ago, the old exhaustion crept back. It’s the oddest thing. It doesn’t matter how much or how little I sleep, I still feel like my body is completely worn out. My brain is sluggish and there is a constant dull ache in my back muscles begging for relief. I have tried sleeping and I have tried pills and I have tried energy drinks and I have tried meditation and there is simply nothing I won’t try, but nothing works. Maybe I need to up my dosage of Vitamin B? Is that healthy? I don’t want to overdose on a vitamin, you know? That would be so annoying. I shall stop my moaning now, reader, but still, even as I type this, I can feel the lethargy in my fingers. Maybe if I sleep all weekend, I’ll be better next week? I hope so.