Hillary Clinton on Jimmy Fallon:
I feel a flood of sensations each time Hillary Clinton is mentioned. I am swept up by my love for her and then overwhelmed by the sadness I feel every time I remember the bitterness of November 8, 2017. I’ll never be able to get over that horrible night. It was akin to surviving a terrorist attack. I don’t say that lightly, and loyal readers know that. It was complete and total devastation. I devoured her latest book, What Happened, and found it riveting and helpful. The other night, I was talking to my academic advisor about Hillary — she was on the tarmac in Des Moines when the news was breaking about the James Comey letter…imagine — and she offered to let me borrow a copy of the audiobook so that I could hear Hillary read the book. I can’t wait! I try to watch every interview she gives and the one she recently did on Jimmy Fallon was iconic. I was screaming, “YASSSSSS QUEEN!” when she was talking about the ridiculous recovery efforts that the current administration did in Puerto Rico. America lost such an opportunity when that moron in the White House bought his way to the presidency. We had the chance to have a wise and steady leader. We had a time to be inspired and believe in the power of America. Now we’re just stuck with a bunch of shit. It’s so gross. I’m so glad that Hillary didn’t “shut up and disappear” like so many wanted of her. We, as a nation, must be set straight. The closing segment of her interview featured the staff writers presenting her with thank you notes. It was cathartic, reader. Yes she’s a politician, but her reactions felt genuine. I need to hug her. She is the mother that our nation needed. Maybe we’ll smarten up the next time. I hope so.
One of my favorite snack in the world is pumpkin seeds. When I was in second grade, we carved pumpkins — something we would never dream of doing now! — and my teacher roasted the seeds with vegetable oil and salt. I was delighted and requested the recipe, the first recipe I ever had, I think. Over the years I have made them a billion times. Each October, I’m roasting pumpkin seeds and living my very best life. I always try to make different flavor profiles when I roast them, the other night I think I had my greatest triumph. I mixed them with olive oil, sesame oil, and an Egyptian spice blend. Reader, they were transformative. You’d never eat them in Egypt, but if I ever open up an Egyptian fusion restaurant — wouldn’t that be great? — I would serve these as bar snacks or an appetizer or I would just eat them all before the guests ever had a chance. Other delightful blends are olive oil, salt, sesame seeds, and poppy seeds. I also love butter, garlic, and Parmesan. I had a chipotle flavored variety at a Mexican restaurant and I nearly screamed. So good. And you’ll read about this soon enough, but you can buy roasted pumpkin seeds for a few pesos in Mexico City nearly everywhere. I can’t tell you how many pounds of pumpkin seeds I ate during my two weeks there. On Sunday nights the street vendors would shut up and I couldn’t find them, and I, for the first time, understood, I think, how a junkie feels searching dark alleys for a drug dealer to supply their crack. I effing love pumpkin seeds. But I hate the taste of pumpkins. But I love pumpkin seeds. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Roast some, reader.
Turns out, reader, I’m a ho for a good burrito. I mean, I have had innumerable burritos in the past, but I’ve never craved them. Lately, for whatever reason, my favorite foods are changing. I am desperate for burritos. My favorite place right now is a chain restaurant called Abelardo’s that specializes in very fast preparations of delightful Mexican foods. The only thing I knew about Abelardo’s for a long time is a hilarious typo in the menu that called Bavarian cream “barbarian cream.” And if you don’t think buying churros with barbarian cream is the epitome of hilarity, then get off this website! I have now been like five times, and I love it more with each visit. They have amazing veggie burritos stuffed to bursting with beans and rice and guacamole and all sorts of delicious foods. Last time, I bought chips and queso and was in a state of utter and complete rapture with every bite of oily chip. It was grand, reader. And they have every flavor of Jarrito, which I get overly excited about every single time. The only flavor they don’t have is my favorite: GRAPEFRUIT. Why is America so petrified of a good grapefruit? There is nothing more delicious in all the world. I get so endlessly annoyed at people saying, ‘Ew. They’re gross. You’re gross for liking them.” People are full of stupid opinions. Oscar Wilde once said something profound, “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” It’s so true. Nobody allows themselves to be individuals anymore. Everybody is a clone of somebody else. Why bother living a life at all if you’re just going to do the exact same thing as every other thoughtless person in the nation? It’s the height of folly when we deny ourselves pleasure. Anyway, Abelardo’s is a delightful experience. I wish I could go right now. I’m starving. And it doesn’t even cost ten dollars for an entire meal. That’s like the best part. I can’t wait to get every vegetarian option on the menu.
Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner:
I know I wrote about this before but I DO NOT CARE. This is the dumbest thing that I have ever seen. AND I have never ever seen anything I have ever enjoyed more. This is the happiest program on television. For whatever reason, the comedy gods peered into my brain and decided to pair Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart up for a late night cooking show. I find the fact that this program exists the definition of absurd. The first season passed by in a delirious haze. Martha made drinks, Snoop made jokes, the guests could hardly believe what was happening around them. Marijuana jokes were endless and I cackled like a child when Martha acted in ways that the viewer never dreamed she could. I wasn’t shocked by her behavior because I have followed every step of her career. Martha’s empire may not be at its peak right now, but this is my very favorite version of her. Of course I loved the fancy Hampton’s Martha and I loved socialite Martha on a yacht and I loved Martha in prison, but there is nothing quite like who she is now. She is hilarious, wise, and doesn’t give two shits about anything. Last night, I finally had an opportunity to watch the premiere of the second season and it was even better than the first. It was Snoop’s birthday, so Martha popped out of a cake. They sipped straight liquor. Patti Labelle and Jamie Foxx were there looking hella confused and eating paella. They sucked on helium and quoted lyrics from some of Snoop’s greatest hits. They wore chains and put on sunglasses and sang a soulful version of “Happy Birthday.” It was ridiculous. I was cackling every other second. This is one of those things that if I had been in a coma for a few years and somebody told me that this show was an actual thing, I would never have believed them. Like that one guy who was being held hostage by Al Qaeda for five years and laughed when he was told who the president was now. That’s how I envision this show. Watch it. It’s flawless.
The Day I Met El Chapo:
Over the months to come, you will be bombarded by my lengthy reflections on Mexico City. You already know that it was a dreamland that I never wanted to leave. Nothing has changed, but I’m digging more deeply into Mexican culture. I sometimes need exposure before I know what I need to research. My love for that city led me to a televisa called Ingobernable, which is a riveting program made for Netflix that stars Kate del Castillo as the First Lady of Mexico.
She is on the run because the government is trying to blame her for the assassination of her husband. It’s so good. It’s the first program that I have longed to binge watch in a long time. I will this weekend, I hope. Anyway, Kate is quite famous for being involved in a huge scandal involving the drug lord, El Chapo. We all know the name here in the United States, but if the populace is anything like me, we know nothing more. I read a quick recap in Entertainment Weekly about a documentary on the story, so I thought I’d give it a whirl. I was intrigued at the onset, but I quickly became obsessed with the story. I’ll try and give you an abridged version. Kate sent out a tweet saying that she had more faith in drug lords than she did in the Mexican government. This is hardly a radical sentiment, mind you, there is this lore that Narco leaders are more charitable than the legitimate government. Some have become saints in the eyes of the people. Kate said this not to express her love for El Chapo but to raise awareness. She had that platform, in Mexico she was one of the most celebrated actresses. This situation quickly went berserk and turned into one of the strangest true stories I have ever heard. It’s quite true what they say about truth being stranger than fiction. So, Kate became a media sensation and things got weird. El Chapo reached out to her to offer her the rights to his life story and she started to communicate with him. Stranger, Sean Penn introduced himself into the story and weaseled his way into meeting El Chapo with Kate. When this story broke, all hell broke loose, too. Suddenly Kate was being threatened by the government for harboring a convict and for communicating with the most wanted man in Mexico. Nobody went after Sean Penn. The miniseries on Netflix organizes this story and explains how it all happened. And it painted a tragic picture of misogyny in Hollywood and the poisonous machismo culture that exists in Mexico. I was enthralled by this three hour program, and I highly suggest you watch it.