“I want this place to look like a garden, but a garden in hell” – Diana Vreeland


Why don’t you pick something up at the grocery store that frightens you? All my long life, I have disliked peppers. Nothing could convince me that they were worth eating. Irksomely, my Hello Fresh boxes have included red peppers and poblano peppers. I forced myself to cook them. And you know what? They really aren’t that bad. I’m shocked. I feel like I’m losing part of my identity. I quite went wild over the poblano pepper dish I made. Who am I?


Why don’t you dye all of your clothes black? Nothing is more chic or fashionable than a black wardrobe, you know? In my wardrobe are a number of shirts that have unwanted stains, but they fit fine, so I’m not really wanting to throw them out. Instead, I’ll just dye them all black and then revel in the glory of looking like a native Parisian. Dye everything, reader. Just don’t dye anything purple, can’t stand that color.


Why don’t you treat yourself to a Walmart beauty section spa day? Nothing is more fun — well of course there are things that are much more fun — than luxuriating with a face mask that costs a dollar. They might not do a thing for you, really, and Allah only knows what’s actually in them, but it’s so nice to pamper yourself. Do it every day.


Why don’t you regret every life decision you’ve ever made and wallow on the couch for a while. There’s nothing terribly wrong with being sad, reader. You need to be miserable once in awhile so that you appreciate being happy whenever you are. After last night’s class, I began questioning everything. Was I doing the right thing for my career and for my life? I decided I still was, but I’m so tired of learning. I’m ready to actually work.


Why don’t you take a four-hour nap? For the first time in a very long time, I had nothing needing my attention. I had no projects and I had no hunger and I had nothing to clean and I had blissful solitude. So I took a nap that I very much deserved. I fell into slumber, thinking I would only remain in that state for about a half hour. Well…four hours later, I luxuriantly stretched. It was decadent. I didn’t know what time it was or what day it was. That sleep was so important!

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