Why Don’t You #25

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Monday:

Why don’t you spend the day tossing out all the unnecessary flotsam and jetsam you’ve accumulated in your home? If it serves no purpose, toss it or donate it or put it in a piñata and smash it. There’s absolutely no need to be drowned in clutter.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you buy some silly kitchen gadget that seems unnecessary? I never thought that I would need a rice cooker. I thought it wouldn’t change my life and would just sit in by cupboards, but I use it everyday. I thought air poppers were pointless, but I use mine several times a week. Go shopping!

Wednesday:

Why don’t you go to your local liquor store or grocery shop or whatever it is and buy a bunch of those little airplane bottles of liquors you’ve never tried? I recently bought a small and beautiful bottle of St. Germain and I absolutely love it. I took 1.5 ounces of the liquor and mixed it with 2 ounces of vodka and poured it over ice. Top with soda water and enjoy.

Thursday:

Why don’t you have some fabric printed of your face? Use this fabric to make a charming assortment of throw pillows and throw them about your home. Never mention them around company, pretend it’s absolutely normal. Such fun!

Friday:

Why don’t you make a vow to show off more skin this spring and summer (and autumn and winter and whenever you want)? It’s a great shame that when I was in great shape this summer, society dictated that I couldn’t show off my thighs — not this year. I’m getting shorter shorts and you’ll all have to deal with it.

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