Monday:

Why don’t you befriend people who handle doves for weddings and other celebrations? This is not a simple recommendation, and I wouldn’t recommend it if I hadn’t gone to a wedding show this weekend. My best friend and I held doves in exchange for cake! It was a thrilling moment.

And it was such fun! See if you can befriend a person who operates a pet shop or a lion reservation. Cuddle with beasts!

Tuesday:

Why don’t you make a bucket list for travel ideas? It makes planning summer vacations so much simpler. My list is endless. So, I know it’ll take until long after I’m dead to complete them all, but I may as well die trying. Top of the list right now, aside from the usual Egypt and France, is a trip on the Trans-Siberian Railway all the way across Russia, Mongolia, and China. What fun. And then Buenos Aires. And Tokyo, Berlin, Prague, and literally everywhere.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you cancel all of your plans tonight and sleep for an obscene number of hours? We’ve all got a tremendous sleep debt. Well I’m generalizing since my sleep is utter garbage, but I have doubt that you’re getting eight or nine hours a night. I get maybe four. Work plus college plus a life does not leave much time for sleep. So, cancel everything one night, take a swig of Zzzquil and visit dreamland for fifteen or so hours. It’ll do you a world of good!

Thursday:

Why don’t you go to a local ethnic grocery store and buy a bunch of stuff you’ve never heard of? You can make so many delicious things that you haven’t dreamed of with ingredients that you don’t know what you’re doing with. (What a sentence!) It might turn out like shit, but at least you’re being cultural. If anything, buy some bread or a candle. Live your best life. Eat stuff. Be merry.

Friday:

Why don’t you get an amazing bed? Maybe a king sized one with a pillow top and then covered with good Egyptian cotton sheets? This is what I did when I decided to make my bedroom into a luxurious imitation of a room at the Chateau Marmont. That obscenely expensive night at the Chateau changed my life, and I want to live every day as if I am there. Create five-star opulence wherever you are. Live your best lives, reader.