The Beypocalypse [or, Spontaneous Chicago 2.0]
[This is my favorite GIF of all time. Also, just FYI, this is a LONG post. Enjoy.] I used to get annoyed at Oprah when she would endlessly chatter on […]
Category Archives: trip
Vegas is Horrible & Zayn is Perfect
Before arriving in Vegas, I didn’t know much about the place at all. Here is a list of what was in my head: 1) years ago, I made a Powerpoint […]
Goodbye My Beloved San Francisco & GET ME AWAY FROM THESE EFFING PEASANTS!
Morosely, I set things aside to ship home and put my bag back together, not enchanted as I usually am by my miraculous ability to stuff an entire month’s worth […]
“Other Places Only Make Me Love YOU Best!”
Since my love for San Francisco knows no bounds nor limits, I wanted to be up as early as I could. You know how this story ends up, yes? I […]
“San Francisco, Open Your Golden Gate!”
I never really put much thought into San Francisco. This trip has always been about going to Hollywood and becoming a beloved celebrity. That didn’t happen, of course. I feel […]
By The Sea
Long Beach is also known as “Iowa by the Sea” because in the 1950s there was a huge influx of my people to the area. This nickname is no longer […]
Best Dressed On Board The Queen Mary
Even though I wasn’t crazy about Disneyland and it cost me ridiculous amounts of money, I’m still glad that I went. Now I only have two more Disney theme parks […]
“Sir, the restaurant is on fire!”
I could not be bothered to wake up for breakfast. It was way more important to get my sleep, as you well know. So, I stayed in bed for an […]
My Day At The Chateau Marmont, or, My Life Is Better Than Yours
Are you ready to squirm at the decadence and elegance I experienced today? You, as a peasant, will surely never know so much pleasure as a night at the Chateau […]
Dead People & Rich People
Can you guess what I’m going to write about first? I bet you can. It’s what I’ve started all my posts about! I LOVE SLEEPING! I slept in until about […]
Benjamin Phillips 