Martha’s Back

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A lot of people dislike Martha Stewart, which is something I have never understood. They say she’s a convict, I say hell yeah! Not only is Martha a brilliant cook, a great teacher, and a fantastic person in general…she got mad street cred. I have mountains of respect and adoration for this woman, she is my idol and my hero. I’m obsessed with her life, and if ever I could have just a smidgen of it, I would be satisfied with my existence. She’s got it all: the house in the Hamptons, the mansion in Maine, the New York house, a great career, millions of dollars, celebrity friends, goes on yachting excursions, travels the world, she mingles with the aristocracy of America, and she is one of the best cooks America has ever produced, I LOVE HER! I want to dye my hair the exact shade of blonde she has.

So, last year, when The Martha Stewart Show went off the air, I went into a deep depression. I adored that program. I relied on it to help me discover new recipes, new techniques, design ideas, and interesting new people. Besides that, it always made me laugh. Martha is very funny. A lot of people don’t seem to realize this. After the show finished, I looked around halfheartedly for something to fill the void, but nothing really did.

I was ecstatic, as you can imagine when Martha announced her new show: Martha Stewart’s Cooking School, which was inspired by her beautiful cookbook of the same name. I knew I would love the show from the first mention as I had adore her earlier series, Martha Bakes. That was a wonderland for me. One of my only passions in life is baking. I’m a professionally trained pastry chef, you know, *brushes shoulders off, keeps on moving*. And even though I went to culinary school, these episodes taught me techniques that I had either forgotten about or had never learned. It was marvelous.

So, with much excitement, I prepared myself for the debut of Martha Stewart’s Cooking School this morning on PBS. (If by some freak accident Mitt Romney is actually elected and destroys PBS, I ill go on a tyrannical rampage. You don’t mess with Big Bird, or my Martha.) I tidied my lounge in order to be fully worthy of letting Martha come into my home. I’m not crazy. Anyway, I absolutely loved the show. It continues in a similar vein as Martha Bakes, just in a new, gorgeous kitchen. I’m not going too far when I say I’d sell an organ on the black market to get that kitchen. The show is simple, straight-forward, with an emphasis on learning how to live the good life through simple techniques and recipes. Nothing she made today was complex, but it was all elegant and looked delicious. I will be recreating many recipes from today’s episode very soon.

It was all about eggs, which is great because I have a refrigerator full of duck eggs from the six ducks that wander around our farm, terrorizing the kittens. They’re jerks, but they lay the most beautiful eggs, so I guess it works out. Last night I dreamt of making fried eggs for huevos rancheros, weird.

Finally, it was time!

The first thing that Martha made was soft boiled eggs. I’ve never had a soft boiled egg, but after seeing hers, I will be making them for lunch right after I post this blog. They were exceptionally easy, and looked like such a treat. She also used an egg cup! I’ve never seen an egg cup in use before and was charmed by it. I have one in a box somewhere that I still need to unpack. I need more cabinets.

Next up was hard boiled eggs and they were equally lovely. The yolks looked so decadently creamy. My eggs have come out like that a few times and they are so much more delicious than when the yolks are dry and crumbly. I will be practicing this. I love a good boiled egg.

I was very impressed with the scrambled eggs she made as well. Usually recipes call for an addition of cream or butter or water when you beat the eggs, but not Martha. She added nothing, and I have never in all my life seen prettier eggs. They were fluffy with large curds. I will be making these, too!

One of the final recipes was for a fingerling potato, onion, and goat cheese frittata. I freaking love frittatas. They are simple, stunning, and delicious for days. If I could, I’d eat them all the time. When I lived in Paris, I made quite a variety of them and was always satisfied. Such an easy and versatile way of using up ingredients. I was excited to see the results of Martha’s recipe, as that sounds delicious, but, I feel like a record on repeat, it was the most stunningly beautiful frittata I’ve seen. The eggs puffed up like a soufflé. It was marvelous. She cooked hers under a broiler, perhaps that’s the secret. I am so making this…and probably eating it in one setting. Frittatas are so good.

The last thing Martha demonstrated was an omelette, and I needn’t tell you, but it was perfect. She used clarified butter to cook the eggs, and that is something I’ve never done. I’ve never even made clarified butter. But after seeing it, it’s on my to do list.

To me, the show was a massive success and I will be tuning in each week. Even though she will be making a variety of things that aren’t vegetarian, I will still be able to learn loads of new techniques and of course, always find new inspiration.

I hope I don’t sound too crazy, but, I love you, Martha.

I’m off to make soft boiled eggs and listen to Martha’s interview with Graham Norton. I love life.

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