“San Francisco, Open Your Golden Gate!”
I never really put much thought into San Francisco. This trip has always been about going to Hollywood and becoming a beloved celebrity. That didn’t happen, of course. I feel […]
Tag Archives: California
By The Sea
Long Beach is also known as “Iowa by the Sea” because in the 1950s there was a huge influx of my people to the area. This nickname is no longer […]
Best Dressed On Board The Queen Mary
Even though I wasn’t crazy about Disneyland and it cost me ridiculous amounts of money, I’m still glad that I went. Now I only have two more Disney theme parks […]
“Sir, the restaurant is on fire!”
I could not be bothered to wake up for breakfast. It was way more important to get my sleep, as you well know. So, I stayed in bed for an […]
I Feel Like Lindsay Lohan & Adieu, Chateau
ATTENTION READER: THIS IS HOW I’D LIKE YOU TO PICTURE ME AS YOU READ ALL OF MY BLOGS FROM NOW ON. THANK YOU KINDLY. PROCEED. I didn’t feel all that […]
My Day At The Chateau Marmont, or, My Life Is Better Than Yours
Are you ready to squirm at the decadence and elegance I experienced today? You, as a peasant, will surely never know so much pleasure as a night at the Chateau […]
My Nemesis & Pricy Chapstick
Reader, I mentioned it the other day, but I’m going to bring it up again. I love sleeping so much. Like, I’m in love with sleeping. I’m having an affair […]
Bitchy Bakeries & Liars On Hollywood Boulevard
Loathe though I am to admit it, I love being in bed. I love sleeping. I love napping. I like to sleep the day away. Now, I love day time, […]
Walking the Walk of Fame
Since I hadn’t managed to get to Hollywood Boulevard the other night, I decided to start my day off there. Even though it’s rather an awful place — and yet, […]
Weeping At Joan’s & La Playa
Today’s events take place on Bastille Day, so BON JUILLET 14 À TOUS! Bonjour mes lecteurs français, je vous adore! Je souhaite que j’aie été avec vous! Learn French the […]
Benjamin Phillips 