AN ANTM REJECT REACTS: CYCLE 20 – EPISODE 2
A day has passed and I am ready to start the next episode of America’s Next Top Model. Now that my already nearly nonexistent expectations for this show have been […]
Author Archives: Benjamin Phillips
An ANTM Reject Reacts: Cycle 20 – Episode 1
By now, I’m sure I’ve beaten it into all your brains how I was considered to be on the current cycle of America’s Next Top Model, how it would have […]
Goodbye My Beloved San Francisco & GET ME AWAY FROM THESE EFFING PEASANTS!
Morosely, I set things aside to ship home and put my bag back together, not enchanted as I usually am by my miraculous ability to stuff an entire month’s worth […]
“Other Places Only Make Me Love YOU Best!”
Since my love for San Francisco knows no bounds nor limits, I wanted to be up as early as I could. You know how this story ends up, yes? I […]
Woof! & High Class Vegetarian
I woke up as my door was opening, sure I was about to be robbed or murdered or raped or something awful, but it was just the maid. I don’t […]
“San Francisco, Open Your Golden Gate!”
I never really put much thought into San Francisco. This trip has always been about going to Hollywood and becoming a beloved celebrity. That didn’t happen, of course. I feel […]
By The Sea
Long Beach is also known as “Iowa by the Sea” because in the 1950s there was a huge influx of my people to the area. This nickname is no longer […]
Best Dressed On Board The Queen Mary
Even though I wasn’t crazy about Disneyland and it cost me ridiculous amounts of money, I’m still glad that I went. Now I only have two more Disney theme parks […]
“Sir, the restaurant is on fire!”
I could not be bothered to wake up for breakfast. It was way more important to get my sleep, as you well know. So, I stayed in bed for an […]
I Feel Like Lindsay Lohan & Adieu, Chateau
ATTENTION READER: THIS IS HOW I’D LIKE YOU TO PICTURE ME AS YOU READ ALL OF MY BLOGS FROM NOW ON. THANK YOU KINDLY. PROCEED. I didn’t feel all that […]
Benjamin Phillips 