“San Francisco, Open Your Golden Gate!”
I never really put much thought into San Francisco. This trip has always been about going to Hollywood and becoming a beloved celebrity. That didn’t happen, of course. I feel […]
Category Archives: California
By The Sea
Long Beach is also known as “Iowa by the Sea” because in the 1950s there was a huge influx of my people to the area. This nickname is no longer […]
Best Dressed On Board The Queen Mary
Even though I wasn’t crazy about Disneyland and it cost me ridiculous amounts of money, I’m still glad that I went. Now I only have two more Disney theme parks […]
“Sir, the restaurant is on fire!”
I could not be bothered to wake up for breakfast. It was way more important to get my sleep, as you well know. So, I stayed in bed for an […]
I Feel Like Lindsay Lohan & Adieu, Chateau
ATTENTION READER: THIS IS HOW I’D LIKE YOU TO PICTURE ME AS YOU READ ALL OF MY BLOGS FROM NOW ON. THANK YOU KINDLY. PROCEED. I didn’t feel all that […]
My Day At The Chateau Marmont, or, My Life Is Better Than Yours
Are you ready to squirm at the decadence and elegance I experienced today? You, as a peasant, will surely never know so much pleasure as a night at the Chateau […]
Dead People & Rich People
Can you guess what I’m going to write about first? I bet you can. It’s what I’ve started all my posts about! I LOVE SLEEPING! I slept in until about […]
My Nemesis & Pricy Chapstick
Reader, I mentioned it the other day, but I’m going to bring it up again. I love sleeping so much. Like, I’m in love with sleeping. I’m having an affair […]
Freakum Pants & Tuxedo Dreams
After yesterday’s successful pant shopping, I was feeling in a much better mood. Shopping does that. You should go buy yourself something. I’ll wait…fiddle dee dee…ho hum…oh, you’re back! What’d […]
Bitchy Bakeries & Liars On Hollywood Boulevard
Loathe though I am to admit it, I love being in bed. I love sleeping. I love napping. I like to sleep the day away. Now, I love day time, […]
Benjamin Phillips 