Faux Tumblr: Installment 6

I seem to collect pictures off of the Internet. I think it’s something everybody does now, but they just stick them on their Tumblr, which I won’t let myself have. I’ll just sit on it all day long. I already waste enough time watching cat videos. Here’s a random look at the latest things I’ve put into my “RANDOM PICTURES” folder.


Audrey Hepburn

I’ve just discovered that Audrey Hepburn did more than act. I’ve long been over the strange bitterness I’ve had towards her and Marilyn Monroe. They aren’t overrated, they were talented women. Their fans, though, are my issue. A lot of their fans don’t know more than two movies. I was talking to somebody about Marilyn a while ago and said that my favorite was Niagara. She looked at me confusedly. I sighed. Anyway, I’m kind of obsessed with Audrey in her old age. I think she looked much more beautiful in her later years.

555415_10151241317457828_1053406494_nRuPaul’s Drag Race is back and I’m living for this ensemble. I need opera glasses.

IMG_6317I got all breathless when I saw this. You remember how the producers called me and asked me to do a more in depth video? If you don’t, let’s squeal together: *SQUEALALALALALALAAL!* I still can’t believe it. I don’t know if I made it on the show, but I guess we’ll find out soon. I read that callbacks start this month. I’ll just die! If I do make it to the next round, please vote for me. I’ll make it worth it.

Me To People Who Say Zayn Isn't The CutestThis is the look I give to people who say that Zayn isn’t the cutest member of One Direction. Also: are you ready for the BeyoncéBowl tomorrow? I am, but I’m not. I’ll sit there with my ring finger in the air, screaming.

paris-nicole-16I will always and forever love them. In another life, I would have been their best friend.

tumblr_lomfg7qPvY1qmj2s0o1_1280I hope this is real. It’s so beautiful. And look at that penmanship!

tumblr_lxrn2tPAMT1qgjlu1Patsy Stone: my spirit animal.

tumblr_lopobu7sqX1qijqv8o1_r1_250I do this every day. All the time. If somebody tells me to do something…all my bones fall out.


tumblr_m4wnngDOfE1qlu8tno1_500Marry me.

tumblr_m6b4erLykq1qikxeao1_400GAHHHH!!! YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!! I don’t ever want to be the Michelle Williams of my life.

tumblr_m9ha2mzkT71qz8z2yo1_500This year’s birthday cake.

tumblr_m89lccHHE51r30tb7o1_500That face!

tumblr_mb6t06xW6R1rn5koko1_1280tumblr_mb6t06xW6R1rn5koko2_1280Nobody seems to understand why Jessica and I love these people so much. It doesn’t matter that they’re kind of gross and total rednecks–they are the most kindly, loving people I’ve ever seen. I can’t make people get this. I don’t know why. People seem to want to hate them, but there’s no reason. They’re sweet and wonderful.

tumblr_meivywUFa51r3k73wo1_1280This has happened several times.


tumblr_mggg39eEwA1qllcawo1_500This should be my home.

tumblr_mfk6sisX6C1qg5dido1_1280I don’t wear things like this, but I would rock this shirt.

tumblr_mh27ce0csA1qj0k9ao1_500Kitten playing with Photo Booth. Loves!

tumblr_mh1tcawmDC1r9943oo1_1280Remember the penthouse that was taken from me? It wasn’t really taken, but I feel as if it was–well, this is what I would love the foyer to be like. It looks a lot like this already. It’ll be mine someday.

tumblr_mgqpy22UeG1s3xbimo1_500Oh, Jimmy!


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