LOVE: Queer Eye: The original Queer Eye was something I was aware of but never watched. Still, Carson Kressley was a major influence on my style. I bought a copy […]
Monday: Why don’t you try a food you are absolutely sure you want to have absolutely nothing to do with? All my life I have been enraged at the idea […]
I was immediately obsessed and spent the rest of the day in a delirium. I too want to be a monk, alone, quiet, doing nothing but building coffins. I dream of becoming a hay farmer in Romania, doing the backbreaking work and worrying only about hay, thinking only of hay. And I would be ecstatic to be an outcast on a deserted island, foraging for food, building shelters out of palm fronds and bamboo poles. It would all suit me down to the ground.
Monday: Why don’t you start a dream journal? In my early 20s, I’d scribble out my dreams each morning with more dedication than I’ve ever shown to anything before […]
You can leisurely fill in your choices whilst sipping on a good gin martini while wearing a silky bathrobe and letting your expensive facial moisturizers sink in. Absentee ballots have made voting the simplest thing in the absolute world. I can’t believe that we live in a nation where such a thing is possible but so few people actually use their vote. It’s absurd really. Election Day should obviously be a national holiday so that everybody can go to the polls, but when we all have the miraculous mail, we can just vote from bed. And isn’t that what we all truly want?
Monday: Why don’t you set up a little office in your basement in case you unexpectedly have to spend a few hours down there as a tornado blows past you? […]
Cairo was not one of my favorite places. I can’t even pretend that it was. I found the place chaotic and fascinating, but when I was there for a week, I failed to develop any irrational passion for the city. Luxor and Paris and Turin and Mexico City and Los Angeles, well, those were all different. I immediately loved them, oftentimes for no reason, often for the way they made me feel. Cairo made me feel vulnerable and foolish at first. I didn’t understand the city, and I can’t claim that I do now.
Monday: Why don’t you sell a kidney on the black market for some extra cash? I don’t really intend on doing this, but I’m curious if I could be a […]
LOVE: Acupuncture: I do not understand how acupuncture works. I mean I get it theoretically. Extraordinarily thin needles are inserted into your skin which leads to an increase in […]
WE HAD BEEN POISONED!
Now, don’t get too excited, it wasn’t like we had been exposed to a toxic nerve agent by a Russian spy, though had that occurred I wouldn’t be terribly surprised. I have talked a lot of shit about Putin’s girlfriend, Donald.