Monday: Why don’t you spend a day in complete and absolute silence? There are few things rarer than the blissful glory of utter quiet. All day, every day, we have […]
We went to Planet Fitness and one of the employees took us on a tour. She showed us all the exercise equipment which we politely nodded at, but she quickly became disgusted with us after she asked what our fitness goals were. “To be tan,” I replied, quite seriously. She scoffed somewhat but controlled her rage and gave us the tour of the massage chairs, tanning beds, and body vibrator things. This looked delightful so we signed up at once.
Monday: Why don’t you pick something up at the grocery store that frightens you? All my long life, I have disliked peppers. Nothing could convince me that they were worth […]
One of my dream jobs is to work at the British Museum. There is not a role I would not happily do there. I would love being a janitor. I would clean displays. I would do, quite literally, anything. It is my great ambition one day to call them an employer. I don’t love London, not by any means, but I love that museum with passion. I have applied innumerable times in the past, but I have received so many polite rejections that I have given that up.
Monday: Why don’t you subscribe to one of those food box things that are so popular right now? I finally signed up for Hello Fresh so that I can try […]
I cackled like a child when Martha acted in ways that the viewer never dreamed she could. I wasn’t shocked by her behavior because I have followed every step of her career. Martha’s empire may not be at its peak right now, but this is my very favorite version of her. Of course I loved the fancy Hampton’s Martha and I loved socialite Martha on a yacht and I loved Martha in prison, but there is nothing quite like who she is now. She is hilarious, wise, and doesn’t give two shits about anything.
Monday: Why don’t you whip up dozens of soups and store them in the freezer? Now that September is here, autumn has arrived in my mind, and now I crave […]
LOVE: Hello Fresh: I have been hearing about these grocery boxes forever. I’ve always been intrigued but never ordered one since I like grocery shopping and have little interest in […]
There are so many wonderful things to see and to do. I will go to every museum, I will eat street tacos, I will sit in the squares and listen to music, I will walk through dimly lit streets and think of danger, I will go to Aztec ruins and climb pyramids, I will sit in my cozy apartment and write, I will shop for local goods, I will figure out what Mezcal is, I will find favorite bakeries and tortilla shops, I will listen to mariachi bands, I will gorge myself on chocolates, I will poison myself with the water, I will have the time of my life. It’ll be great and good and I just cannot wait to hop on the plane and discover a new world.
It feels awfully peculiar knowing that I won’t be in dangerous territories, that I won’t be eating Parisian pastries for a month, that I won’t be lost in some horrible city where I don’t speak the language. That is the kind of thing I thrive on…I’m going to start furiously googling colleges and things to do in America that might be a bit off the beaten path. Maybe I’ll hike the Grand Canyon. Or perhaps I will drive to Mexico City! Or maybe I’ll rent a shack on a beach and write a book? Or maybe I’ll do none of this and learn to enjoy relaxation and the luxury of an empty schedule. I don’t know. We’ll see.